oh life

Well, I started this, not knowing what it was, and I am excited to see that it is a blog!

Well, life has thrown me some curve balls recently. And I am having a hard time with some of the things going on. I know that God has an amazing perfect plan, and I know that He only wants the best for me... So, why must it hurt so much? Why must I feel this pain?

There is so much going on in my life... and I want to be selfish, I want things to go my way. My best friend, Lisa, is in a coma... and there is nothing I can do... I cant even be near her, because she is in Thailand... she is more like a mother to me, than my own... and it hurts knowing that I cant be there. I dont know what is going on with her, because updates are scarce, but they update when they can. I want to be there for my "family". I want to sit there with Kristin and just talk with her... I want to be her big sister, I want to cry with her and let her know its going to be okay. Even though she may not need it, because she is so strong. I want to be there for my "little brother", Ricky, and hear what is on his heart and mind. I want to be there for my "dad". He is so strong in the faith... I know that this is hard on him... This is his best friend, his wife, the love of his life, that God made perfect for him... and she is. I just want to let them know that I am praying for them, and that I love them.

My friend Jesse is being re-deployed to Iraq on the 1st. He and my friend Grace just got married, and now they have to rearrange their plans. They had moved down to southern California, to go to Biola, and he got a letter saying he was being reactivated. They had to move back home, and its hard.

I had to quit going to school, because my financial aid did not go through. I was 2 months away from graduating... But I know that God has a plan... I have to find a job, and I have to figure out what I am going to do. Its not easy, But I know that God has a plan.

I often find myself wondering... "What is God doing?" And I cant give myself the answer. It is going to be a rough ride, these next few months... God never said it was going to be easy, He just said that in the end... it is going to be SO much more than worth it.