to barlow girl:

i doubt you'll ever see this. but, if you do, take heart that christ has used you!

***

i am discouraged. i see people my age claiming to be christians, but missing the point entirely. i see teenaged rebellion. i see the lack of hunger in their eyes for more of christ's word. i even see myself being a hypocrite. i feel like there are no christ followers my age out there anymore, and that christ's calling to live in a community of believers is simply a fairytale.

just now, your first album came on shuffle.
i begin hearing words i had memorized long ago. i begin hearing phrases that have become so much of who i am that i could not locate their origin - i could only know that they were part of God's message.
and i smile. because i know that if the youngest barrow girl was my age when you made this first album, if i know that you could be on fire for Christ even then…

teenaged Christ followers do exist.

i suddenly understand an impossibly tiny fraction of how jesus and, later, his disciples, must have felt in the early days, surrounded by people who just wanted to see miracles. by people who didn't really care about following, just about rewards.
and, yet, i know the story ends well. <3

i had been worried that these dreams were all a cheesy fairytale.
but the Lord is the greatest author who ever was, will be, and IS.

thank you for being used by God to produce music that sneaks out from my past
and reminds me of the days when i was much younger, much more afraid
and, yet, for the first time in my life, i began to dance.