Submitted by blackrose on Sat, 10/31/2009 - 8:42pm
So this is a poem I wrote Oct 27, cause it was my family's one year anniversery from moving up to North Carolina from Florida. SO I wrote this poem trying to get some of my emotion out; but it didn't really work.
Today marks the day
When all hope was lost
When I realized me pain
When I lost me everything
Today is the day that I regret most
The day that's caused so much pain and grief
That not anyone human can bare
Today marks the day
That I lose me faith
The beginning of my dark night
The start of the fight for my life; that's full of strife
I've come so far, but have fallen to hard
I wrote that poem to get some emotion out that has built up inside of me.At that time a year ago no one knew(execpt God) that I would do what Im struggling with(cutting and drug abuse). Now it's been a year and I feel like a ticking time bomb.
If I never told you, you would never know. It would never cross your mind. If it ever did, I would deny it – and you would believe me.
I had a problem. I don’t like to admit it; it does not make me proud. I was a cutter; a self-mutilator. Was. I am strong now – at least stronger than I was before – and I write because I know. I can say ‘been there, done that’.
I was born and raised into a broken household. My parents fought constantly, and I lacked that love and support that I wish every little boy and girl would receive. I was the eldest of, at that time, three. I remember that when my mom and dad would fight, I would grab my brothers and lock ourselves in my room. I’d pick up a book and, through their tears and my pain, I’d try to drown out the screaming, the sound of glass breaking, the pain of a family separating, slowly, at the seams.
My name is Marina. I live in Ohio with my mom, little sister and step-dad. I go to a vocational school and I am training to become a web page designer. I first heard of Barlow Girl at church camp. Each dorm did skits, some of them involved songs. One of the skits was to the song "She Walked Away". I didn't know who the artist was until I saw their CD in a store a while later. My favorite Barlow Girl song is "Never Alone". Well that's just a little bit about me. Thanks for reading.