Things are not looking so hot for me! I am struggling so much and I feel so alone. I am so mad a God... it feels like he is not here, though I know he is. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse for me. I cut today... I hadn't cut since 10-03-09 before today which is a long stretch without cutting for me. But I couldn't do it any more! I have been feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out I just couldn't do it any longer. It doesnt help that I don't have an income and I don't have but a couple friends who i don't see. I just don't enjoy life any more. I just wish I could have some fun... feel some hope, but when I pray about all the "crap" it never gets any better, things just seem to keep piling up! I am fighting for SSI right now too, that also has me stressing. I go to court for that December 1st. I'm scared. My mom is probably going with me to that, but she doesn't understand me. She doesn't know how bad it really is.
I've never actually done a blog before. I don't really know what to put in it. I know something will come to me though. Here are some ideas I have. Tell me which ones you like by signing my guest book.
-I could do reviews on other BarlowGirl blogs.
-I could do book and/or movie reviews (I like to write!)
-I could try to write a short story, and post them peice by peice
-All of the above
The desperation of her life began during her freshman year of high school. She had friends, just not real friends she could trust. El Dorado was boring to her because there was not much to do in that small, weird town. Her family wasn’t much of a family anymore. They had grown apart during her years at Barton Junior High School.
Now in her sophomore year, Elizabeth decided to do away with God after her friend passed away in a car wreck. After all, her friend did ask her to go to church that night with her. When Elizabeth found out about the wreck, she felt a huge burden fall upon her. This caused her to put up a huge brick wall around her heart and not let anyone in. Fear of losing someone she was close to followed her everywhere, causing pain, and she did not want people, even family, to be close. At nights she would find herself huddled in the corner of her room crying.